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jessika eff

[ website | Lyss and I are crazy. ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

god dammit. [13 Sep 2002|05:33pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

you know what i'm fucking sick of?

i'm so fucking sick of trying to be happy, and then when i finally am.. i just make 2975520975209 other people upset.

fuck all of you. i just want to be happy. i have not been completely happy for like 3 months, i think i deserve to be happy again. i'm not a bad person.
if you going to lay guilt trips on me, or say i don't care about you anymore, or whatever the hell you people are doing, then just don't fucking talk to me, okay?

8 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

!!! [13 Sep 2002|03:36pm]
[ mood | happy ]

this weekend is going to be fucking awesome!

justin + angie + bike + dave and katie maybe + camping + alcohol+ inbucus concert= fun times!!!!

a survey stolen from kendraCollapse )

3 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

yay [12 Sep 2002|07:06am]
[ mood | excited ]

yay! justin is coming to my school today at 11:30 for 4th hour and then staying during lunch.
i'm excited!

i've never been this excited to go to school!

1 memory lover title or description you're the first star

haha [11 Sep 2002|05:12pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

angie and i are cool..

we went to drive down "A road" like the good ole days, cause we were bored..
so we go down it, and sean is sitting outside. we were so scared so i pulled in some driveway and turned around. i was looking in my rear view mirror at him to see if he was looking, and i like ended up in swerving in dustin's driveway and almost hit their van. it was really scary!!

glowluckystar: hey u know how embarressing that would have been if u would have hit somehting in dustins driveway?
glowluckystar: sean would come runnin over
glowluckystar: and d would come out
hEy x vaniTy: LMAO
hEy x vaniTy: yeah i would like start crying
glowluckystar: me 2!
hEy x vaniTy: i would feel so stupid
glowluckystar: lol so would i
hEy x vaniTy: why do i always hit stuff in dustin's driveway
glowluckystar: theyd be like why u guys down here
hEy x vaniTy: i don't understand
glowluckystar: lol i dunno
hEy x vaniTy: lol and we would have no excuse
hEy x vaniTy: we'd be like "uhh.. we were just driving.."
glowluckystar: um just looked like a good road tod rive down
hEy x vaniTy: LOL

you're the first star

late again! [11 Sep 2002|08:18am]
[ mood | anxious ]

i'm late for school again, imagine that!

i'm in a great mood for some reason! ah!

11 hours and 45 minutes.

justin has a livejournal now! add him! incbu

we have the aweseomest away messages ever!
Auto response from hEy x vaniTy: "i want to be just like him... just not as gay"
Auto response from igotyourheadcold: "you know... id come on the show all wasted and stuff"
jolly old man won't go camping with us.. so, so far it's just me, justin, angie, bike, and angie is trying to force JD to come.
we'll just find random people..
anyone wanna go!?!?

we aren't going to the incubus concert anymore, i'm sad. but it's okay! they'll be back.

i can't wait for the msi concert.. angie and i are riding our bikes there because we have no other way! nobody that i know that drives likes them. actually, nobody that i know likes them.. around here anyway. hm.

whoa i better get my lil ass to school.

2 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

cute what [10 Sep 2002|10:55pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so justin and i were sitting at this park tonight just talking.. and all of a sudden i see a racoon coming across the road.
"aww! that's so cute" i said, as a car sped by and smashed it to the ground.

not really, but it almost got hit and i was so upset.
then i said "i can't wait to write about this in my livejournal"

i'm cool....

we're moving to cali because i hate michigan and all the people in it.

you're the first star

oopsie [10 Sep 2002|11:37am]
[ mood | awesome ]

whoa.. oops.

i just swallowed my lip ring.. how did that happen? i'm not sure. i was just eating pizza rolls and swallowed something weird.. then noticed it was missing.
SIGH i always lose them the oddest ways.

2 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

stupidfaceguy (6:24:34 AM): thanks for putting me in your journal [10 Sep 2002|06:19am]
[ mood | weird ]

we're going camping again this weekend! even though incubus is.. saterday i think, we'll just leave from there. we dunno if we're even going, well, if i am, because it's kind of a weird ticket situation.. but justin said that if i can't go he's not going..
igotyourheadcold: but if i cant get her ticket im not goin
hEy x vaniTy: why aren't you going
igotyourheadcold:well if it was a band i liked
lol i'm sure.

anyway, i'm excited.

lastnight justin and i were bored so he asked to hang out. i was happy because no one else ever hangs out with me besides angie but she didn't feel good.
he came here at like 8:00 and we just ran away from my house cause puff was bein' cool.
we drove around and talked for a bit and then decided to go over to justin's so i could meet "father".
on the way there i got a disturbing phone call from angie, and i got really pissed. but that's okay.
we got to justin's at like 9-ish but "mother" and "father" were already in bed, so he just showed me around his house and we just sat in his room and he showed me cute drawings and such. and his pile of hats. which by the way, i'm knitting him one and getting it to him by xmas. do i know how to knit? nope! but that's the fun in it. and i'm going to put lil pink bunnies all over it!!
so anyway justin wanted to be non-quiet so we went out to the deck and just talked and plotted how to get this girl's incubus ticket and such. lyss called me and we talked for a bit, and justin played some p diddy on his guitar.
i got west nile about 15 time so we decided to go back in.
at like 10 we left on our way to my house.
it took me forever to get out of his car, it was funny. i just sat there and kept talking..

today we're going out to eat!

yay i have a half day today.. i'm excited to come home and sleep.

you're the first star

!! [09 Sep 2002|03:23pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

stupidfaceguy (3:20:46 PM): you are going to end up a degenrate white trash mother of 10 when you are 25
stupidfaceguy (3:21:04 PM): living in a trailor park, fucking a black guy collecting welfare
hEy x vaniTy (3:21:18 PM): lol why?
stupidfaceguy (3:21:26 PM): i dont know, cause you are
hEy x vaniTy (3:21:31 PM): thanks for that insight
hEy x vaniTy (3:21:36 PM): i feel good about my future now!
stupidfaceguy (3:21:48 PM): no problem... im like a crystal ball, you can see your future in my pants
hEy x vaniTy (3:21:59 PM): lol oh..
stupidfaceguy (3:22:04 PM): yeah
hEy x vaniTy (3:22:11 PM): that makes no sense you know
stupidfaceguy (3:22:22 PM): yeah, neither does your face

3 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

it smells like cheese! [09 Sep 2002|02:38pm]
[ mood | hot ]

it's so fucking hot. i'm pissed......

oh cool. so i have to go to night school or something because i'm a credit short. i love my organized shcool!

i dunno what i'm doing today, justin is supposed to call when he gets home from school at 6!
til then, i dunno.. i wanna wash my car, but it's really hot.
maybe angie wants to do somethin'!

3 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

drunken memories [08 Sep 2002|06:44pm]
[ mood | amused ]

angie and i were just talking about lastnight, and i was remembering some funny stuff..

ahahhahaCollapse )

no one will probably understand this stuff, but i just put it in here so i could laugh and remember it all!

5 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

drunken update #2 [08 Sep 2002|01:24pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

okay. so yesterday after my nap and stuff i got showered and all that good stuff. justin said that he was gonna come get angie and i at 6, so i just sat around til then.
jonkin's came over for a little bit and then angie came over and he left.
soon after, justin pulled on in and off we went.

we just sat around all bored/tired because justin and i have allergies and our medicine made us tired.
we had no one to buy us beer so we went for a walk to look for bike, but no sign of him. we figured he might be at the skate park so we drove up there and as soon as we got there brad called and told us he just appeared at our site, lol. so we went back and then just and him went to the store and he bought us some beer.
when they came back everyone went and played hack and justin and i just went in his tent and took a nap until it was dark, cause that's when all the energy comes out! i woke up becasue i heard angie yell "why is dan genaw here?" so i peeked out and saw him, ben, and max all at our site, i was like "what the hell are you guys doing here?" but i was too tired to wait for an answer so i just crawled back in and went to sleep.
we got up and everyone was already drinking and playing some cards, so we started drinking and the night was on it's way.
for some reason angie and i were already really buzzed from one beer and stumbling all over.
justin, angie, brad, and i went looking for lil pink but we couldn't find it, i was sad.
me brad and angie walked over by the swings and just laid in the grass and started looking at the stars, it was really pretty.. then all of a sudden we saw the northern lights.. of course they weren't that clear or colorful.. but it was still really awesome to see. i ran and got justin and bike and we all just laid and watched. it was fun.
we went back and katie and i were hungry, so justin cooked us some food. angie said she wanted 10 hotdogs, but we only had 3 ;\ so that had to do.
i wanted some damn mustard so i made bike go get my some at his campsite.. as soon and i bit into my hotdog it all fell out on my leg, i was kinda mad.
*tries to remember stuff*
i dunno.. we went for alot of walks, one of which.. justin, angie, brad, and i walked down to the water and we found a lil pink wanna-be, so i hugged it. then i made justin lay with me in the middle of the road but a car was coming so we had to get up... and one time angie and i ended up alone, i don't know how. so we just walked around and talked and then met some guy and invited him over lol. i was wearing justin's hat so he thought i was justin.. he was like "yeah you're the guy that kept driving by" and i was like "no, i'm a girl! but yeah this is his hat" and he just started cracking up, i don't know. so he came over and justin said that he was crying by a tree because we left him but i don't beleive that lil story!
a bunch of us walked back by the woods and S'ed some P.. i got really sick and my throat was burning so i just went by justin on the picnic table and layed down.
lol oh yeah i remember crap now.
i wanted to go swimming so bad.. i kept saying "we have to go swimming but they said we have to cut the grass first" for some reason i seriously thought we had to cut the grass, i don't know why.
umm what else. i don't know.. i was really effing messed up. i wanted to sober up because i wanted to know what was going on, so justin and i laid down and i made him babysit me til i sobered up. we talked alot and i tried to remember everything.. but then angie came in with a mikes hard lemonade and that just sounded so good so i had to have some.
angie had to go home her mom said, so we had to walk her up to the enterance.. it seemed like it was a 92537 mile walk. i brought some pretzels and i think i like ate the whole bag by myself, i was so hungry.
all i remember about this walk was cracking up the whole time. i thought everything was so funny.
so angie left and brad, justin and i just sat at some table and ate our pretzels and talked, it was fun.
we walked back and it didn't seem as far so i was happy..
i still wasnt as sober and i wanted to be so justin and i laid down again. i kept saying "let me sleep for just 5 minutes" but he would keep falling alseep before i even did, so i had to keep him up.
bike just appeared in our tent again and i was so pissed. i kept calling him mom for some reason and i kept making him go get me some lemonade cause i was really thristy. he started going to bed so i had to kick him out.
eventually everyone started going to bed so i guess we did too. about an hour into sleeping justin woke me up and was like "i think it's been 5 minutes" but i just went back to sleep.

this morning i woke up and i was like "wtf that was way longer than 5 minutes" and we found that funny.
brad was just running around outside all jolly and peeking in and talking to us for a bit.. then him, katie, and dave took off and justin and i were just too lazy to get up. we decided that we were going to live in his tent, but that i was never going to move. but then it got a bit too hot so we decided we'd go swimming.
we got up and packed up our stuff and drove over to the water. we just went in with our clothes on and justin dove onto some rocks and scratched himself up, it was sad, i felt bad.
we got in his car all wet and were on our way home, we decided to go to the skate park and scare people, but no one was there. so we went home
he dropped me off and here i am now..

i think i might take a nap

this weekend was so fun, we have to do it again!

4 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

"what's that lil pink?" "wtf is a lil pink?!" [07 Sep 2002|12:51pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

woo. lastnight was awesome.. and i get to do it all over again tonight!

at 8ish angie and i rode our bike up to the skatepark and chatted for a bit. i was excited to see jonkins cause i havent in a long time and yeah.
so we went to the gas station cause i was dying of thirst and angie made me get some beef jerky that i didn't want, but she insisted that i did. it's still sitting in my purse.

anyway, so earlier we called justin (the incubus kid) and he told us to come up to the state park, so we were on our way. we took the state park bike trail and it was so scary and dark and we almost hit a deer.
about 15 minutes later we got to the enterance but we were scared to go looking for them so angie called his phone and he said that he'd start walking to meet us. i felt dumb on bikes so we hid them in some bushes and started walking until we saw him and his friend, brad.
we walked back and met the rest of the crew, katie and dave. they were nice. we started drinking and having a lot of fun and just talking and laughing.
after a few beers angie and i walked stumbled to the bathroom. these stupid 13 year old girls were saying all this crap to us and they pissed angie off and she tried to fight one. lol it was so funny, i had to drag her back to the campsite. we went back there numerous times with katie, and then next time we took brad and justin. on the way there justin and i turned around and went and hid angie and i's bikes so that she couldn't ride home, because she kept saying that she was going to go home. then we caught up and just said we got lost lol. so all of a sudden "the bike", this old man from the skatepark just pops up out of nowhere and it was really funny. justin, being awesome, invited him to our time party and i knew that would be a HUGE mistake.
so we fought with the girls some more and then went back.
all of a sudden the DNR pulled up by the road to where justin and i hid the bikes, and they got out and were shinning their flashlights on them. so then angie noticed that we hid them, and she all drunkly/pissedly was like "whyd you guys hide my fucking bikes?!?!!?" it was really funny. so she went and brought the bikes back and tried to ride home but the chain was popped. justin fixed it for her and we all begged and begged for her to stay, but she wouldn't, so off she went.
i sat there for 5 minutes and then i just attacked justin and was like "we have to go find her come on" so he tried to ride me on the pegs of my bike but he was a lil too drunk for that, so i rode him and i was cruisin! but we couldn't find her so we turned around.
we just went back and we kept going for walks, and then i made everyone come. there were like 10 of us walking around at midnight and i was pretending they were my sheep and i was herding them. it was fun lol.
i saw these pink xmas lights, and i said to justin and brad "hey what are those lil pinks?" and they just started cracking up saying "what the hell is a lil pink?" i guess they don't understand how i talk!
later lyss called my cell and it was cute, i just passed it around, mainly to the bike.. he was goning crazy and everytime i took the phone from him lyss was cracking up. so i just gave it back to him and me and justin went for a walk to find lil pink again.
i guess it was shut off cause we didn't see it.. but we saw some white ones and he was like "whoa, thats a big white!" and i found it funny. hes silly.
so we went back and the bike was STILL talking to lyss and i was like wtf gimme the phone. it eventually went dead and i was sad.
justin and i went on a quest and stole everyone's firewood cause we ran out, it was fun.
at like 1:00 justin and i decided to go drive to angies house. lol. bad idea since justin was in no driving condition. but we got there okay. i just walked in angies house and it was funny. we talked for a bit and begged her to come back, but she wouldn't! see, we risked our lives for nothing! nothing at all!

okay. so this is the fricking crazy part. no one will understand unless they know the bike. but he is 24 and he looks like he's about 40, and acts 14.
anyway, everyone went to bed in katie and dave's tent but justin and i just stayed out cause we didn't want to leave bike alone and cause we were staying in justin's tent.
so bike is flipping out because there is a racoon in the tree. he kept doing this stupid call and it was so scary because it lured the coon onto the effing table. i just got pissed and went in the tent and justin followed. we figured that the bike would go away, but no. he was sittin out there for like a fucking hour doing the fucking racoon call.
all of a sudden we hear him throw a log, and i peek out and i'm like "bike what the hell are you doing?" and he was like "ITS GONNA BITE MEEEEEEE" he was so drunk you don't even know.
he started like pawing at out tent trying to scare us, and he was out there drinking all our beer.
eventually we thought he left, so we fell asleep after we talked for a bit.
i wake up like 30 minutes later to someone coming in the tent holding a lighter. i look up and see fricking bike jumping from the door and landing next to justin.
bike- silence
me- BIKE. >:o
bike- *sad* huh?
me- what the hell are you doing?
bike- can i please stay in here? i can't go home or i'll get bitch slapped
me- no bike, get out of here seriously.
*justin wakes up and doesnt know bike is in there*
*he stretches and pats bikes head*
justin- >:o BIKE NO.
bike- please guys, 5 minutes
me- no bike. no minutes, get out *opens door*
bike- *mumbles something about justin being my boyfriend*
me- what?
bike- sorry i mean your fuck friend
me- what the hell, get out now.
bike- don't make me call the coons *does coon call*
he finally fucking left but we couldn't go back to sleep because we were so damn disturbed.
justin was so scared as to why he was laying next to him lol.
but anyway, i don't think he ever left our campsite.

we finally fell asleep again and we woke up at like 10:30 and it was so fucking hot. we just layed there for awhile and finally got up and moving and we decided to stay another night because everyone wants to hang out with angie and she said that she'd come tonight. i'm excited, its so much fun.

i know i left out alot.. well i know i forgot a lot. i just remember cracking up half the time.
i had alot of fun
aw katie is shuch a nice girl..
and they are all nice boys! funny!

i'm so dirty.. i hate camping!

justin is taking me to the incubus concert :D

6 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

=o=o=o [06 Sep 2002|06:49am]
[ mood | hot ]

okay i'm going to get so drunk tonight because i don't care and it's free. lol angie and i mooch everyone's goods all the time lsadfj;
i'm just going to have fun and not care about anything, because i don't. i'm going to act like a retard i don't fucking care, i don't know these people, i dont care if they dont like me, they dont have to.. but i hope they do!

whoa i'm excited.
i'm kinda excited to go to school because i wanna see my couch, and maybe talk to him(?)
no way.. but yeahldsajf

looks like I was right this time, huh buddy? HUH!?! ahahhhhhhhhhhhfs d;;;

what ever happened to my rainbow underwear? it just disappears?
josh is probably stealing all my underwear

stupidfaceguy (6:39:24 AM): why are you doing your hair, you dont have any

Auto response from hEy x vaniTy (6:39:24 AM): hair

hEy x vaniTy (6:47:17 AM): lol shut up
stupidfaceguy (6:47:33 AM): ok baldy
hEy x vaniTy (6:47:39 AM): i have more than you!
stupidfaceguy (6:47:44 AM): no you dont
hEy x vaniTy (6:47:49 AM): anyway, i was doing my ass hair
stupidfaceguy (6:47:49 AM): my hair is down to my ASS
hEy x vaniTy (6:47:53 AM): shut up
stupidfaceguy (6:47:56 AM): oh sexy
FFFF!!!!!!!Collapse )

1 memory lover title or description you're the first star

deadratgwam: herpes is the number one killer in algonac [05 Sep 2002|09:55pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

okay i feel better now.

today angie and i road our bikes uptown. we went to farmer jack and then to the skate park, but nothing was there so we went over to josh's. his mom said that he was in the shower, imagine that!
angie started cracking up, and i was so confused as to why this was occuring, but i just laughed, too. we always feel like we are drunk, it's weird.

so we went back to the skate park and just sat there doing nothing. we talked to a few people and then decided just to sit on some ramps. as we entered, angie noticed that the "incubus kid" was there, and i gasped and ran over and sat to the ramp thingie that he was skating on. we just sat and watched him for a bit, and then dumbass jarvi came over cawing like a fricking crow. that kid is so damn weird, seriously. but anyway we asked him if he knew where the incubus kid was from.. and him being cool just turned around and was like "HEY! HEY!!!!!! where are you from!?!?!" and i felt so dumb i just hid behind my purse. he informed us that he was from the far away land of new baltimore. then we asked jarvi what his name was, and of course..."HEY!!!!!!!! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!?!?!" he told us his name was justin, and then ask all of our names. he's really funny, and cute too!.. holy crap he's so cute. anyway, i got jarvi the eff out of there cause he was gonna scare him away.
we didn't really talk to him THAT much. we just talked about some bands and he asked us where we were from, and i said "here" and he just got all confused and was like "the skate park?" it was funny.
but anyway, he's 19. i was surprised because he looks our age.
him and some buds are going to be at the state park *just typed skate park* tomorrow night i guess and invited angie and i to come along. i dunno if we are going to, but he gave me his phone number (:D) to get ahold of him incase we do. we'll see what's up.
oh yeah, in the process of getting to know him, ben had to pop up out of nowhere and say "see those girls?!?! they cause nothing but trouble, she got me punched out! you fucking bitch!" it was sad. sad as in how gay he is, and how jealous he gets. effffffff
he looked fat today

hey! my journal layout is all done :) and it's really sexy!

okay, i gotta actually go to bed tonight. i have to attend school tomorrow.

4 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

stop. [05 Sep 2002|07:01pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

okay. i'm so sick of people saying mean things to me.
calling me stupid,
telling me i'm dumb,
saying i'm an idiot,
telling me i'm a stupid bitch.

like this for example:
P DRUNX 3000 (5:21:54 PM): oh thats fucking REALLLY COOOL
P DRUNX 3000 (5:21:58 PM): you fucking idiot

that makes me feel good, especially when people that are SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS say that kind of shit to me, and especially when my self esteem is at an all time low right now.

thanks. that made my day alot better.

12 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

=0 [05 Sep 2002|01:37pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

just kidding. i'm not going to school :P

i was planning on it, but lyss and i stayed up til.. 4, and then i talked on the phone with my bestfriend jon until 5:30, and i was too tired to get up and get ready, and i actually did have really bad cramps and couldn't move. so i just decided not to go.
i don't even care. i don't care about school anyways this year.. eff it. i'm sick of havinsd;f

angie's mom is nutsCollapse )

1 memory lover title or description you're the first star

ummm [04 Sep 2002|10:46pm]
[ mood | sad ]

umm. my journal will look weird for awhile.. i started changing the layout and then got lazy, so.

i went to the doctor's at 3. like.. my whole school was there, it was annoying.
tah and ben were spying on me from betsy.

anyway, they tested me for strep throat. it came back negative.. they are running more tests for other stuff it could be and then calling me tomorrow... if all that comes back negative then i have to go get tested for mono again.

i'm going back to school tomorrow, yipee.

i'm so lonely and sad today..
whenever i care about someone, they don't care about me "that way".. or they just act like they do, but really don't.. that just gets my hopes up, and then i just get hurt. it kinda.. yeah, sucks.
why don't people like me? do i do something wrong?
maybe i just get too attached to them and scare them away, i don't know.
i just miss having someone, you know?
asffasfs sdaf

3 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

hmm [04 Sep 2002|09:24am]
[ mood | sore ]

i was actually gonna try and go to school..
but i got up at 3 and got really tired by 4, so i went back to bed and just now woke up.

oh well, i hurt anyways.

my mom is going to call the doctor's when she gets up, and if they can't get me in today.. then off the to hospital i go... again ;\
god i'm sick of that place.

3 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

;( [03 Sep 2002|07:19pm]
[ mood | sick ]


this morning when i woke up i felt so crappy. i could barely move...
i was okay in school.. fine, actually.
but then as soon as i get home i feel like junk again, so i took a nap.

i woke up with a pounding headache, i was freezing but sweating, sore throat, i couldn't even talk.. and it hurt just to keep my eyes open.
i tried to walk out to the kitchen to tell my mom i need to go to the doctor's, but i just kept falling all over and running into everything. my legs are really sore and throbbing..

so i'm not going to school tomorrow, it sucks, because i'm so far behind as it is. but i'm going to the doctor's.. and of course they are going to take a whole bunch of blood and i'm going to cry and puke :(
i think i have mono again, it feels exactly like it.

someone come take care of me :( i want to take a bath.

aww.. when i first got mono last time, i was at jon's house for the weekend.. and i was so sick and i wanted a bath. he didn't want to take one with me because he didn't want to get sick, but i told him that'd i'd feel better if he took one with me, so he did (as long as we didn't have to have bubbles he said!). that was so nice that he risked getting sick for me :( and he stilled gave me kisses despite the fact that mono is called "the kissing decease".
no one would do that for me now :(
i miss.

7 memory lovers title or description you're the first star

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